I don’t wear makeup every day, but I do wear it more often than you might think, considering the fact that I work from home. Over the years, as a result of very specific testing circumstances, I’ve chosen a few favorite makeup-related products.
Makeup testing circumstance #1: Grading Papers
Two years ago, I had enjoyed watching a couple of my favorite television shows while working when I decided to take a break and head out to the living room to say hello to my husband, Terry. I had sauntered casually over to the chair next to his to settle in for a few minutes of conversation when he looked over at me and exclaimed in a horrified scream-whisper, “WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOUR FACE?!”
My hands flew to my face, patting it down to see if I could feel the abnormality. “I don’t know!” I cried. “What IS wrong with my face? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!”
“There is something wrong with your face,” he repeated ominously (and vaguely), staring at me with wide eyes in the low light of the table lamp.
I rushed to the bathroom and turned on ALL of the lights before I looked in the mirror, expecting to find a new baby arm growing out of my temple, a la Rachel Dratch on SNL (when she played the mutant incest baby of Angelina Jolie and her brother–if you haven’t seen it, you really need to), or a giant, previously-undetected booger on my chin.
Instead, I discovered that I had *very faintly* smudged mascara under my eyes when I had rubbed them (probably vigorously) while working at the computer. The smudges were BARELY visible; they were almost not there at all. (This is a good time to mention that Terry is somewhat prone to panic-inducing exaggeration. It’s a theme that we’ll see again in these makeup reviews.)
I said, “It’s MASCARA. What did you think it was? What else could it possibly be?”
He said sheepishly, “I don’t know. It just looked like someone had punched you in the eyes.”
I don’t usually sit in my office, punching myself in the face while I work. However, partly as a result of this incident, I decided to try a new mascara, since, honestly, I rub my eyes considerably more than an adult human should. I’m like a constantly sleepy two-year-old. Since I know that I do this, I thought it best to try a smudge-proof mascara. Also, even though I have eyelashes of normal length, they appear shorter because they fade out to light blonde on the ends. Do I lose sleep over this issue? No. Do I prefer NOT to look eyelash-less in pictures? Yes. I’ve got plenty of things working against me in pictures; I don’t need my eyelashes to join the cause. Thus, my product of choice was CoverGirl’s LashBlast Volume Mascara (the fat orange CG tube).
I. Love. This. Mascara.
It’s SO easy to apply without looking clumpy, and it adds a remarkable amount of volume to eyelashes without adding those weird, synthetic fiber ends to them like some “extend-lash” mascaras do. I tried one of those extend-lash mascaras once, and the synthetic fibers got into my eyes, which was SO IRRITATING. I looked like a marijuana user without the benefit of marijuana, so I was annoyed AND sober, the worst combination. The LashBlast results in zero irritation for my eyes, which is kind of remarkable for a volumizing mascara, and it’s both hypoallergenic and smudge-proof. No more smudges! No more imagined self-abuse! No more half-baked eyes!
Just as with any other beauty products, there are truckloads of different mascaras for you to choose from, and everyone has distinct needs/preferences. However, if you want a better-than-average smudge-proof mascara that is easy enough for everyday and dramatic enough for night, CoverGirl LashBlast Volume Mascara is a good ‘un.
And, as a tip from me to you, don’t ever ask someone, “WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOUR FACE?!” with horror in your eyes unless that person’s face has, in fact, been attacked by giant leeches or scarred by a light saber.